Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Thief and His Mother

A BOY stole a lesson-book from one of his schoolfellows and took it home to his Mother. She beat the shit out of him, as was her custom, and then encouraged him to take more before disappearing for days on some drug binge. The next time he stole a cloak and brought it to her, and she again beat him severely and then molested him a bit before doing some lines off of the glass coffee table. The Youth advanced to adulthood and proceeded to steal things of still greater value between relentless abuse sessions.

At last he was caught in the very act, and having his hands bound behind him, was led away to the place of public execution. His Mother followed in the crowd and violently beat her breast in sorrow, whereupon the young man said, "I wish to say something to my Mother in her ear." She came close to him, and he quickly seized her ear with his teeth and bit it off. The Mother upbraided him as an unnatural child, whereon he replied, "Whatever lady. What are you going to do about it?"

The Thief and His Mother (original fable)

A BOY stole a lesson-book from one of his schoolfellows and took it home to his Mother. She not only abstained from beating him, but encouraged him. He next time stole a cloak and brought it to her, and she again commended him. The Youth, advanced to adulthood, proceeded to steal things of still greater value. At last he was caught in the very act, and having his hands bound behind him, was led away to the place of public execution. His Mother followed in the crowd and violently beat her breast in sorrow, whereupon the young man said, "I wish to say something to my Mother in her ear." She came close to him, and he quickly seized her ear with his teeth and bit it off. The Mother upbraided him as an unnatural child, whereon he replied, "Ah! If you had beaten me when I first stole and brought to you that lesson-book, I should not have come to this, nor have been thus led to a disgraceful death."

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #200
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