Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Ox and the Frog

AN OX drinking at a pool trod on a brood of young frogs and crushed one of them to death. The Mother coming up, and missing one of her sons, inquired of his brothers what had become of him. "He is dead, dear Mother; for just now a very huge beast with four great feet came to the pool and crushed him to death with his cloven heel."

The Frog, masturbating like crazy, inquired, "if the beast was as big as that in size."

"Cease, Mother, to get all worked up," said her son, "and do not be angry; for you would, I assure you, sooner burst than successfully take in the hugeness of that monster."

One of her more emotional adolescents cried out, "He killed one of your sons you twisted bitch!"

"Plenty more where that came from" she grunted, not missing a beat.

The Ox and the Frog (original fable)

AN OX drinking at a pool trod on a brood of young frogs and crushed one of them to death. The Mother coming up, and missing one of her sons, inquired of his brothers what had become of him. "He is dead, dear Mother; for just now a very huge beast with four great feet came to the pool and crushed him to death with his cloven heel." The Frog, puffing herself out, inquired, "if the beast was as big as that in size." "Cease, Mother, to puff yourself out," said her son, "and do not be angry; for you would, I assure you, sooner burst than successfully imitate the hugeness of that monster."

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #376
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