Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Ass and the Grasshopper

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices.

They replied, "The dew."

The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew. After a week of this he was emaciated. He went back to the Grasshoppers and asked, "Do you really live off of dew? Who the hell eats dew?"

They replied, "Oh, but we do! We do! We promise!"

After a short time the mule lay dying of hunger and the Grasshoppers approached him.

"Hahaha! Good riddance! God-awful jackass! No one eats dew you moron!" Then with much maniacal buzzing and chirping they stripped his bones clean.

The Ass and the Grasshopper (original fable)

AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #184
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