Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Lion in Love

A LION demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father, unwilling to grant, and yet afraid to refuse his request, hit upon this expedient to rid himself of his importunities. He expressed his willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter on one condition: that he should extract his teeth and cut off his claws, as his daughter was fearfully afraid of both. The Lion cheerfully assented to the proposal. But when the toothless, clawless Lion returned to repeat his request, the Woodman, no longer afraid, set upon him with his club, and drove him away into the forest.

When he was satisfied the Lion would not return he approached his daughter and exclaimed, "Were you leading that Lion on? You bestial strumpet! What have you been up to out in those woods?"

"I love him father!" she cried.

"No! Nooo! I forbid it! Put it out of your stupid head!"

"I can't change how I feel!" she pleaded as she began crying.

"Well he'll starve out there soon enough," he said more calmly, staring out into the trees. "If any more animals come asking for marriage I'll beat the life out of you."

The Lion in Love (original fable)

A LION demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father, unwilling to grant, and yet afraid to refuse his request, hit upon this expedient to rid himself of his importunities. He expressed his willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter on one condition: that he should allow him to extract his teeth, and cut off his claws, as his daughter was fearfully afraid of both. The Lion cheerfully assented to the proposal. But when the toothless, clawless Lion returned to repeat his request, the Woodman, no longer afraid, set upon him with his club, and drove him away into the forest.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #140
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