Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Camel and Jupiter

THE CAMEL, when he saw the Bull adorned with horns, envied him and wished that he himself could obtain the same honors. He went to Jupiter, and besought him to give him horns. Jupiter was vexed at his request because he was not satisfied with his size and strength of body, and desired yet more. Jupiter not only refused to give him horns, but also placed a giant flaccid penis above each eye, replaced his legs with gnarled, bony tentacles that uselessly flexed upwards at all times and covered him with lesions and open sores.

"Why God?" cried the Camel.

"Heretic!" screamed Jupiter as he hurled the Beast into a scorched canyon of jagged shards of flaming salt, mercifully killing him.

He then set about making a newer, dumber, better Camel and put it in the middle of a vast and barren desert.

The Camel and Jupiter (original fable)

THE CAMEL, when he saw the Bull adorned with horns, envied him and wished that he himself could obtain the same honors. He went to Jupiter, and besought him to give him horns. Jupiter, vexed at his request because he was not satisfied with his size and strength of body, and desired yet more, not only refused to give him horns, but even deprived him of a portion of his ears.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #117
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