Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Ant and the Dove

AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank.

Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing.

The Dove, seeing the man hop away clutching his foot, swept down and ate the ant. But the birdcatcher, having secretly spied upon the formation of the alliance, predicted the betrayal and was exaggerating the pain of the sting. So he leapt towards the dove, grabbed it, bit it's head off and lay there in the mud chewing.

The man's wife, having suspected him of cheating, had followed him to the forest and witnessed all of these events. She burst forth and declared, "I shall never kiss you again, for as I speak you are chewing on the head of a dove with an ant in its mouth!"

"You lying bitch!" The man yelled, his mouth sending forth bits of flesh, bone and a mist of blood. "There is no way you could have seen the ant from way over there!" he concluded triumphantly.

"The fuck I can't!" she replied. "I want a divorce immediately!"

Do not underestimate the sight of your partner.

The Ant and the Dove (original fable)

AN ANT went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #235
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