Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The She-Goats and Their Beards

THE SHE-GOATS obtained beards by request to Jupiter. The He-Goats were sorely displeased and made complaint that the females were less attractive thusly.

"Allow them," said Jupiter, "to enjoy an empty honor and to assume the badge of your nobler sex, so long as they are not your equals in strength or courage."

"You're a fucking sexist!" they declared.

"So?" replied Jupiter as he flexed his mighty muscles into an epic pose, gazing off into the horizon.

It matters little when inferiors complain of sexist gods.

The She-Goats and Their Beards (original fable)

THE SHE-GOATS having obtained a beard by request to Jupiter, the He-Goats were sorely displeased and made complaint that the females equaled them in dignity. "Allow them," said Jupiter, "to enjoy an empty honor and to assume the badge of your nobler sex, so long as they are not your equals in strength or courage."

It matters little if those who are inferior to us in merit should be like us in outside appearances.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #516
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