Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Human Turned Telemarketer

A HUMAN unable to make a living bytrade and made desperate by poverty, began telemarketing in a town in which he was not known. He sold some useless shit, pretending that it was an antidote to all poisons, and obtained a great name for himself by long-winded puffs and advertisements. Soon all was lost.

The Governor called a public assembly and addressed the citizens: "Of what folly have you been guilty? You have not hesitated to entrust your heads to a Human, whom no one could employ to make anything but bullshit sales pitches."

The Cobbler Turned Doctor (original fable)

A COBBLER unable to make a living by his trade and made desperate by poverty, began to practice medicine in a town in which he was not known. He sold a drug, pretending that it was an antidote to all poisons, and obtained a great name for himself by long-winded puffs and advertisements. When the Cobbler happened to fall sick himself of a serious illness, the Governor of the town determined to test his skill. For this purpose he called for a cup, and while filling it with water, pretended to mix poison with the Cobbler's antidote, commanding him to drink it on the promise of a reward. The Cobbler, under the fear of death, confessed that he had no knowledge of medicine, and was only made famous by the stupid clamors of the crowd. The Governor then called a public assembly and addressed the citizens: "Of what folly have you been guilty? You have not hesitated to entrust your heads to a man, whom no one could employ to make even the shoes for their feet."

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #475
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