Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Office Worker and the Viper

AN OFFICE WORKER, selling his life away an hour at a time, typed frantically between phone calls. As his computer system slowed to a crawl and looked about to crash, he watched intently, having his whole thoughts directed towards the eminent loss of data. While thus occupied, he sighed and pushed his feet forward, disturbing a sleeping Viper at his feet. The Viper, turning about, stung him, and falling into a swoon, the man said to himself, "What the fuck! God! Shit! What the... Aaaaah! Shit! How?? Why? No. Please... Can't die here..."

The Fowler and the Viper (original fable)

A FOWLER, taking his bird-lime and his twigs, went out to catch birds. Seeing a thrush sitting upon a tree, he wished to take it, and fitting his twigs to a proper length, watched intently, having his whole thoughts directed towards the sky. While thus looking upwards, he unknowingly trod upon a Viper asleep just before his feet. The Viper, turning about, stung him, and falling into a swoon, the man said to himself, "Woe is me! That while I purposed to hunt another, I am myself fallen unawares into the snares of death."

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #115
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