Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Goat and the Ass

A MAN once kept a newborn Goat in his Ass, which he had shoved up there during its birth so that he could live vicariously off of the mother via the umbilicus. The Goat, envying the Ass on account of his greater abundance, said, "How shamefully I am treated: rotting in filth, a mere vessel for the leaching of my mother's vital ingredients." He then pretended to be epileptic and pounded the insides of the Ass with his hoofs.

The Ass was very much bruised. Its master, sending for a doctor, asked his advice. He bade him pour upon the wounds the lungs of a young Goat. They at once pulled out and killed the Goat, shoved the lungs up there, and so healed the Ass.

The Goat and the Ass (original fable)

A MAN once kept a Goat and an Ass. The Goat, envying the Ass on account of his greater abundance of food, said, "How shamefully you are treated: at one time grinding in the mill, and at another carrying heavy burdens'; and he further advised him to pretend to be epileptic and fall into a ditch and so obtain rest. The Ass listened to his words, and falling into a ditch, was very much bruised. His master, sending for a leech, asked his advice. He bade him pour upon the wounds the lungs of a Goat. They at once killed the Goat, and so healed the Ass.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #279
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