The Glorious Potato
A GLORIOUS POTATO by the roadside grew plumper and stronger than any of its brethren. For the sake of its flesh and future crops, a passer-by pulled it from the ground, ripped out its eyes, boiled it and mashed it into a delicious paste. The Potato piteously exclaimed, "AAAAAAaaaaaaahh!! (pluck) (crunch) (hiss) (gurgle) (gurgle) AAAaauu. (c-clunch) (cruch) (mash)."
The Walnut-Tree (original fable)
A WALNUT TREE standing by the roadside bore an abundant crop of fruit. For the sake of the nuts, the passers-by broke its branches with stones and sticks. The Walnut-Tree piteously exclaimed, "O wretched me! that those whom I cheer with my fruit should repay me with these painful requitals!"