Aesop's Jacked Fables

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The Prophet and the Innkeeper

A PROPHET hired a room in a tavern and stayed a while in the hope of foretelling something that would get him out of paying for it. He had rambled on for some days in vain when he saw the Innkeeper sitting before his door. The Prophet sat down beside him and talked with him. As the conversation began to flag, the Prophet yawned terribly and at the same time howled like a wolf.

The Innkeeper said, "Why do you howl so fearfully?"

"I will tell you," said the Prophet, "but first let me ask you to hold my clothes, for they shall burst aflame in the pyroclastic flow. I know not, sir, whether this yawning and howling predicts massive volcanic activity soon or millions of years into the future; but this I do know. When I yawn for the third time, I actually turn into a wolf and attack men, perhaps as we are buried under scalding ash."

With this speech he commenced a second fit of yawning, again howled like a wolf and the earth trembled for a few moments toppling various objects around them. The Innkeeper, hearing his tale and feeling the disturbance, became greatly alarmed and, rising from his seat, attempted to run away.

The Prophet laid hold of his coat and entreated him to stop, saying, "Pray wait, sir, and hold my clothes, or I shall tear you to pieces in my fury."

At the same moment he yawned a third time and set up a terrible howl. The Innkeeper, frightened out of his mind, snapped away and stood there dumbfounded as everything vibrated violently and a mountain on the horizon exploded.

The Prophet looked at his own naked human form and wondered out loud what had gone wrong. The shaking intensified as a wall of violent gray approached from the distance. The Innkeeper pointed and mumbled.

"I should have been a wolf by now," the Prophet complained as he tried to pick his clothes up from the quaking ground. "This is not all like I envisioned."

The wall of gasses and ashen rock slammed through the area, burning, suffocating and eventually burying everything deep within the debris. Several thousand years later archeologists made casts of their bodies from the impressions they left in the hardened ash.

Every tale is not to be believed.

The Thief and the Innkeeper (original fable)

A THIEF hired a room in a tavern and stayed a while in the hope of stealing something which should enable him to pay his reckoning. When he had waited some days in vain, he saw the Innkeeper dressed in a new and handsome coat and sitting before his door. The Thief sat down beside him and talked with him. As the conversation began to flag, the Thief yawned terribly and at the same time howled like a wolf. The Innkeeper said, "Why do you howl so fearfully?" "I will tell you," said the Thief, "but first let me ask you to hold my clothes, or I shall tear them to pieces. I know not, sir, when I got this habit of yawning, nor whether these attacks of howling were inflicted on me as a judgment for my crimes, or for any other cause; but this I do know, that when I yawn for the third time, I actually turn into a wolf and attack men." With this speech he commenced a second fit of yawning and again howled like a wolf, as he had at first. The Innkeeper. hearing his tale and believing what he said, became greatly alarmed and, rising from his seat, attempted to run away. The Thief laid hold of his coat and entreated him to stop, saying, "Pray wait, sir, and hold my clothes, or I shall tear them to pieces in my fury, when I turn into a wolf." At the same moment he yawned the third time and set up a terrible howl. The Innkeeper, frightened lest he should be attacked, left his new coat in the Thief's hand and ran as fast as he could into the inn for safety. The Thief made off with the coat and did not return again to the inn.

Every tale is not to be believed.

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #419
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