Aesop's Jacked Fables

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Mercury and the Sculptor

MERCURY ONCE DETERMINED to learn in what esteem he was held among mortals. For this purpose he assumed the character of a man and visited in this disguise a Sculptor's studio. Having looked at various statues, he demanded the price of two figures of Jupiter and Juno. When the sum at which they were valued was named, he pointed to a figure of himself, saying to the Sculptor, "You will certainly want much more for this, as it is the statue of the Messenger of the Gods, and author of all your gain."

The Sculptor laughed out loud, "What, this worthless fucker?" He then took the statue up by the legs and smashed it headfirst onto the ground. "This is what I think of that worthless sack of shit! The bitch of the Gods he is! A complete waste!"

Mercury and the Sculptor (original fable)

MERCURY ONCE DETERMINED to learn in what esteem he was held among mortals. For this purpose he assumed the character of a man and visited in this disguise a Sculptor's studio having looked at various statues, he demanded the price of two figures of Jupiter and Juno. When the sum at which they were valued was named, he pointed to a figure of himself, saying to the Sculptor, "You will certainly want much more for this, as it is the statue of the Messenger of the Gods, and author of all your gain." The Sculptor replied, "Well, if you will buy these, I'll fling you that into the bargain."

View the orginal fable View the jacked fable Perry #88
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